danz inc. camp is officially over... though everything was very last minute... though i screwed up many times... it still came to a good end... guess most of the people had fun...
but...i myself??? if anyone could have known me better...... would know exactly how i felt... i will not deny that i did had fun... but the main was not fun......
guess i screwed up a lot of times... from rooms...to schedule...to budget... to bus...to food...to timing...to camp tee... to games...to instructions...to presents... to dance steps...to partnering work...
totally agree that i take up a lot of things on my own... totally know that it was a great burden by doing so... but still i did... guess i am seriously to stubborn... i stressed myself up so much... but too i recieved a lot of it... i cannot handle stress well... seriously i was at the edge of breaking down many a times... cried lots of times...but hung on to it... coz currently there is no other people around to over see...
i am not a person to lead...but only a person to shoulder... that is my biggest problem...and it will not be easy to change... i have been shouldering everything since young... so seriously...i cannot take charge in allocation... and since nobody offers...i will take on as usual......
the only thing i left to say now is... do not push me to the end of my limits...... coz i will definietly breakdown and give up on everything i hold in hand... no matter how unwilling i am... i am sorry... i must be strong... i just left with a few months... never sleep for 38 hours yesterday... yup...i am super tired... i have learnt the art of sleeping as i walk... it was dangerous...i must say... and seriously would never want to perform it again... was so tired that the first thing i did was bathe and sleep... but then i forgotten about my alarm... and i overslept...till i forgotten about my attachment... went to the doctor as i was not feeling well as well... and got an MC for my attachment... seriously angry with myself... how dumb and screw up can i be??! *argh*
me myself & i 22:46
EMOTIONAL
Mei Xian
nursing student
...full-time...
lamer
stoner
dreamer
...part-time...
having a break
LOVE LIFE
sleep eat dream
especially sushi
mango pudding cake
ice-cream chocolate
WISH LIST
More Clothes
White "Classy" Tote
Sports Bag
Lots of Pumps & Heels
A Wallet
Perm My Hair
New Belts
Digital Camera
DS Lite
Undergo Lasik
Attend a Shoe Design Course
Lots & Lots of $$$$
**need a job right now**
Try New Stuff to Build Confidence
MESSAGE
THINK POSITIVE...
it's the little little things in my life that allow me to hang on...
no matter how life is...it's just the perception point that varies the outcome view...
my life isn't empty but half-filled...and i'm contented...
