Wednesday, November 29, 2006
...RiDiCuLoUs...LaUgH oUt LoUd...
things are getting more and more ridiculous each time...first it was him sharing everything with his friends...letting his hearts out which i totally can understand...secondly...it was his friend who came intruding into my life...confronting me for no good reason...when i do not even know who the hell she is...nor does she know who the hell i am...hello...for goodness sack...what rights does she have??? confronting me??? what was she to be??? relationship consist of two...anything it's just between us...never mind...maybe it's a very good and concern friend...i understand...thirdly...he said that never did i blog about our happenings like i am blogging now...that he was so disappointed in me...never mind...i understand...because i seriously never did...fourthly...it was him saying that no matter what he will still treat me as a friend...reading my blog every once in a while...sending me emails of concern...saying things sounding that he is giving me his blessing in this new relationship...saying that he is treating me well that i should learn to cherish...okay...i can see where his coming from...now...guess what nonsense i recieve from him??? he was gladly announcing in his blog to the whole world that i am his FIRST ever hated person......never mind...still have part two......guess what??? he too announced that he had thrown away every single thing i have given to him...tore all the pictures we took...that all of it wasn't worth keeping...that how stupid he was to continuously thinking about our past......i told him to throw them away...it was him who was reluctant to do so...saying that he is thinking about our past but yet developing feeling for someone else... look...who is the stupid one here??? me or you???wow...indeed am i honoured to be the FIRST person he hate......reading his blog...doesn't upset me...it just make me want to laugh...to laugh at him......time and again it was him who have made empty promises...hurting me...breaking my heart......the times i cried...the amount of tears flowed...the ache i suffer...he doesn't know......how many more times do i have to forgive him till he learn to cherish the chances he have had??? cherishing...is a word that he should not be saying...because he never did...and he do not know how to...because he only have himself in his eyes that he see nothing that others have done for him......ni mei you zhi ge qu ai...ying wei ni bu dong shen me jiao ai...it's time you grow up...set eyes for others...and not only yourself...
me myself & i 01:29
Monday, November 27, 2006
...A vErY eNjOyAbLe...HaPpY...aNd FuNnY dAy...woke up with a suprise...he was waiting under my void deck...when he gave me morning call...i didn't know and still continue to laze in bed...dilly dallied...and by the time i go down...he was itching all over...because he was feeding mosquitoes...hehe... =x ...sorry losz...
we went to sentosa...it was "flooded" with people...people moutain people sea...hahahazzz...kk i don't lame liao...but really a lot of people lahz...our 1st time going to underwater world after don't know how many donkey years...also visited dolphin lagoon...and took cable car...a very happy day spent...
was so fascinated in underwater world...maybe because too long never go...then got new things...hahahazzz...especially jelly fish...wha...jelly fish...jelly fish...jelly fish...very small...very nice...very cute...ahhhhhh~~~...i like...hehe...bleahz...
kk...dolphin lagoon...our 1st time there...rained...so everything was wet...the ground...the seats...the beach...the show was okay lahz...but i think someone got cramp...keke...sorry losz... =p ...
hmmm...took cable car...it was his 1st time taking it...hahazzz...very funny...erm...alighted at harbor front center...walked to vivo city...our 3rd time there...but the feeling is as though we haven been there before...guess it's because we never have the chance to walk every single inch and corner of it ba...
went to the cathay to watch happy feet......so cute lahz...ahhhhhh~~~...
kk...a happy day spent together...but didn't went home happily...got a small arguement...which i am very happy about...not that i'm sick lahz...but...because can tell that it really matters to him and myself......also...he say i cheated him into it...hahazzz...which i never...never never never...bleahz...hahazzz...true mahz...he want punishment...i give him...then he say i cheated him into doing that...hahazzz...bleahz...too bad...don't want do...then don't do it again losz...na ni na ni poo poo...bleahz...it was super funny lahz..hahahahahahazzz...
me myself & i 02:06
Friday, November 24, 2006
...LaUgHs...GiGgleS...sMiLeS... 
today skipped 2hrs of lecture...
was too tired...and felt so sick...
wanted to skipped the whole of today...
and just stay at home to sleep...
still i dragged myself to school...
was glad that i didn't miss school...
though i didn't do much...
yupz...i remember something...
something that feli did to me...
argh...sick lahz...
ya lahz...i sick...sore throat...
she no let me eat alot alot alot of stuff...
only let me drink fruit juice...hai
then in lecture...
i tou chi kwuang li's fries...
one french fries only lai...ONE!!!
and guess what???
she beat me...so did tian shun...
sobsob...pain pain...
somemore one sat on my left...
another sat on my right...
ever heard of zhuo you gong ji??!
ahhhh...how can treat patient like that de???
ahiyo...missy ar missy...hai...
i tell you a secret...
i ate double cheese burger MEAL for dinner...
muahaha haha...
which includes the burger...coke...and FRENCH FRIES!!!
yummy...mmmmmmm...delicious~~~
na ni na ni poo poo...you cannot catch me...
bleahz...eat liao...so too bad...
you know why too bad???
because by the time you read finish already digest finish le...natelie...see... i got a jug of lollipops...LOLLIPOPS...bleahz...got big ones...got medium ones...got small ones...but not i buy one hoh...so don't scold me...is wei liang give me de...46 lollipops altogether...i also stunned when i saw it...BUT...though i like to eat lollipops...he say only when i'm sad then can eat...so don't scold me hoh LEADER...because i like lollipops...wo shi yi ge zhang bu da de niu hai...bleahz... =p ...hahazzz...
me myself & i 00:21
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
.....LoSt In ThE wOrLd Of BlAnKnEsS...all i can say now at this very point of the is nothing...i'm lost...my mind is totally blank...so depressed...so saddening...am i stressed out???i also do not know...but is there anything for me be stress about???i also do not know anything...really do not know...food...something to balance myself...something to balance my emotions...something i use to vent my emotions on...something to control my emotions from overwhelming me...been eating to my fill since yesterday...it was the first ICA presentation...but sad to say...did fairly...very fairly...content was there but insufficient...relevence and application not even near her expectation...creativity a little...upon hearing all that...my heart sunk...really was so depressed...maybe it was because i did not do enough...i hate projects...i hate group work...hate hate hate them...argh...today...theory test...was to busy with everything...that i didn't even know what i was busy with...didn't manage to study for i was too tired...didn't manage to wake up this morning though he called a million times...don't have any idea why i'm so tired...but i'm just totally out of energy...i'm really now a living dead...drifting around...been eat non-stop since before the test...rice...lollipops...cookies...fruits...noodles...crackers...chocolates...ice-creams...jelly beans...plums...rice...lollipops...ice-cream...why am i eating so much i also don't know...it's just that i cannot and do not know how to balance my emotions...why am i not stopping myself from continuous eating???it's just i couldn't help it...and just continue eating...now...i just feel like bursting into tears and go to lala land...saddening...depressed...confused...yet...i don't know why...please guide me out of this complicated feeling of mine...for no matter how hard i try to put up a strong front...i can no longer be as tough as i use to be...i need encouragement...i need support...i need you...
me myself & i 23:30
Thursday, November 16, 2006
...a SpEcIaL dAy...a SpEcIaL mEsSaGe...fOr a SpEcIaL sOmEoNe...
love...
so unpredictable...
complicated...
yet so worth holding on...
it moulds one...
yet hurts one so deeply...
it's something that words cannot describe...
seen that one is able to change for the one he love...
seen that one is able to change because of the lost of his love...
to love...or to be loved...
it's just one word away...
no longer being a fool to wait and cling to an unreal feeling...
things that you are doing and changing touches me deeply...
your patience care and concern just melt my heart...
so on this very special day...
though you may not see it...
though you may not know...
still...i post this to reassure you...
a place in my heart...
i love you...
me myself & i 00:15
Thursday, November 09, 2006
so sad...did my nails yesterday...
because cousin wedding tomorrow...
but today dance...kana till...*sobsob*...
don't know how liao lehz...
i very de xing tong...i go bu later...
but hopefully not obvious...if not waste kwang li's effort le...hai... 23:39
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
...awaken from my dreams...was sick yesterday...suddenly everything became so clear to me...whenever i am down...sick...it was him that came into my mind...maybe it's because 4yrs 40days...you think it was easy to let go???to tell the truth...saying was easy...doing is hard...saying was still easy...to let go...it was even harder...i know how dumb i can be...how unfair it was...but still...nothing was clear...till now...do not know why i would fall sick...but guess it was all fated...because whenever i'm sick...it was times i think a lot...and all my emotions just keep filling in...thought and emotions was sorted out finally...speaking from the bottom of my heart...i can't let go...couldn't let go...and don't know how to let go...but now...i can...truely...whoeheartedly...and totally...i can now really say...it's really over...everything shattered the day i knew the truth...a promise that i hold on to so tightly...yet treated lightly by you...you'll never know how i had felt...and you'll never will...promises were made...not meant to be broken...but to be marked word by word...if not what is the point in the first place???yi ge nuo yan dui ni lai shou...zhi bu guo ru chi...ke dui wo lai shou ke shi yi yi zhong da...everything ended...the day i knew the promise was broken...was the day my heart died...was the day my feelings for you died totally...and the day is today...
the times i kept myself in the world of my own...the ups and downs i've gone through...the tears i've shed...you do not know...you weren't there...in your eyes...
it's forever you...and what you have done...but nothing is possible to happen...for it takes two hands to clap...it was never one sided...it's just that you noticed...for your eyes were solely for her and her alone...everything fades...my pain...my hurt...my love...my hatred...my sorrow...my dreams...my happiness...towards you...nothing last anymore...since the day i knew the promise was broken...my heart shattered...my heart died...nothing will last no more...when i knew you love her...
loving you no more...my heart sunk...when everything was broken to me...wo de xing zai ye wu fa rong na ni le...dui ni...wo yi jing che di de shi wang...che di de shi xing le...
me myself & i 02:45
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
penny of thoughts...thinking of you...i just could not help but cry...
me myself & i 22:08
...MC dAy...
got out of bed feeling tired...giddy...
still i drag myself out of bed...
showered...dressed up...packed my bag......
but then i can no longer chen qiang le...
i was feeling horrible...terrible...vegetable...
i sat down...and could no longer move another inch...
guess overnight falling sick is the most nan shou to me...
must be caused by over tiring and sleeping more yesterday...
so ya......fallen sick...missed school...missed dance...
i could hardly move...whole body aching...hai...
hate going to the doctor...
still i went...lots of medicine...
and it just kills my appetite...
how am i to eat when i no want to???
hai...i do not know what am i saying now...
everything is just spinning...
i'm in a mess...confused...blur...
i need to stay alert to continue the project...
i hate falling sick...
once sick...then wo jiu mi mi hu hu le...
sickness all lei ji qi lai...and da bing yi chang...
why torture myself???
i also do not know...
sick sick sick...
argh...
*head spinning*
me myself & i 10:41
Sunday, November 05, 2006
...SaDdEnInG...today went to tuition my kid...hai...as usual...she never do her homework...which i predict she will not do it two weeks later...hai...she ar...clever...but i want to vomit blood liao...wake up so early and go teach her still get her nonsense...run around everywhere......best part is give tuition also can get hurt de...hai...her very very cute sister throwing the golf ball every where...and one drop directly on my finger...*ouch*...till now it still hurts...wei liang say i can go be baby sitter liao le...hahazzz......4th lesson...but never get my pay...he say i'll get it at my next lesson...which would also be postpone to the 18 instead of 11...bo bian...camp ar...hai...no pay = no money...hai...put henry's areoplane today...because forget that they brought mummy's birthday forward to celebrate...felt so sorry about it...cause plan to study de lai...but in the end got to put his aeroplane losz...sorry sorry...though i know he do not mind...but still...sorry......but he also very mean...he asked me how was it ar...so i say eat till my fill ar......then he curse me grow fat...so sad...still want to bet with me is i gain weight or he loose weight...hahazzz...bet losz...i sure win de...because he still bigger size than me ar...muahaha haha... =x ...
me myself & i 23:58
...FrIdAy...3rd NoVeMbEr...okay...this is a late post...was too tired and busy to be online for the past few days......
work...project...school...dance...eveything packed so tightly that i could hardly breath...
still yupz...i still have to work ar...no choice...bo bian bo bian...school fees ar...hai......
work...don't know lehz...suddenly...i felt like got restricted from doing everything...
i do not know why......hai......now everytime if i got work he'll send me home sia...
such a waste of his money...i feel very bad lai...hai......
time......past super fast...few more days then a month already... 
yupz...i'm super busy...no time for him...
and he knows it very well...
funny thing is that he doesn't mind at all...
he got me a present in advance...
which......i really do not know how to react to...
mp4......
how am i suppose to react???
what am i suppose to do???
it's not cheap lai...sia lahz...waste money sia...
so saddening...i also do not know how i should feel...
me myself & i 23:27
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
hai...it's so saddening...look at the time now man...got so much to do...yet......so little time...just got home...took a quick shower and here i am online...research on tomorrow's presentation...borrowed 4 books...man...you would never no how LIGHT it was losz...especially carrying it all the way home after dance...with all the barang barang i brought to school...whew...exhausted...totally drained out...don't know drop the books and my barang barang how many times till i reach home losz...really too heavy liao...too weak to carry......and zee very mean today...say i look like idiot...hai...who ask me borrow so many books...thick ones some more......double the hai...
hai......now got to start finding the information...but i'm so super duper freaking tired...really have no source of motivation...argh...NO SOURCE AT ALL...*slap myself*...got to wake up...bo bian...for tomorrow...I MUST...*fighting with the subconscious me*...i'm not tired...i'm not tired...i'm not tired...THERE!!! I'M NOT TIRED!!! muahaha haha... -_-"' ...ya right...who am i trying to fool man?!! I'M TIRED...ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
damn......best thing is i'm having a headache...don't care...want to BLAME TIAN SHUN for it...he MUST be the cause of it!!! humph...how can you be so mean to really really de really pull my hair...IT HURTS LAHZ!!! me no wear wig lai......IT'S REAL HAIR LAHZ...don't envy me to have longer and more volumed hair than you lahz......BUT...ya...i'm not a good girl either as you all know...*grinning away to myself*...so i also really really de really pull his too...muahaha haha...see...we play play also so violent...jalat sia...hai...*shake head*......i hope he gets his headache too...suffer with me...hahahzzz...i like......muahaha haha...*evil laughter again*...shhhhhh...don't say...because i'm only evil to SOME...the some that like to call me lao fuo ye...hai...hahazzz...you people really can "make my day"...
me myself & i 00:36
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