Monday, October 30, 2006
was bored...so i went into his blog for the first time...
i know i know...i never do read blogs...
but you see...it's just what one can do out of boredom...
read only a few...but i felt so strongly...
for now...maybe what i did was right...
he doesn't know what is going on...
but still...he always feels that he does...
maybe that's why he has so much opinion on me...
that he had to share with the whole world...
he doesn't understand me...
and he will never understand...
because...nobody will find the key to my heart...
i'm disappointed...not with anyone else...but myself...
guess it was really stupid of me to have spend my time in that page... come to think about it...it's over...i've learnt to let go...so why did i bother???what was i even thinking???*slap myself right in the face*erased...page address erased frm mind...no matter what...it's over...and i'm done with the stupid attitude...of as if you know everything...when you know nothing...treat me as a fool no more...straightened out my thoughts...nothing anyone do will every hurt me again...not even harsh words by unknown people...shoo problems...of you all go...i'll be free from you all from this point...
me myself & i 19:02
Sunday, October 29, 2006
letting go of the past...hoping for a better tomorrow...don't hold yourself back for an unknown past...when you can have a better tomorrow...the future is in our hands...create it by yourself...nothing anyone can do to help...but yourself...*forgetting*
me myself & i 17:49
Friday, October 27, 2006
...mIsSiOn PoSsIbLe...maybe i'm really having a very huge ego right now...but no choice ar...because the ICA presentation are so near...yet so far...hai...i also do not know what am i saying...want to rush finish but then nat say a bit too impossible...nothing is impossible...we control our destiny...not for destiny to control us...so......guess what???i'm going to control mine...it's mission possible...rush finish can study also ar...on the other hand i also don't want someone to naim me...yupz...if only you know who i'm refering to...hahazzz...mission possible...i'll make it happen...watch me...muahahahaha...
me myself & i 12:56
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
...Selamat Hari Raya...was invited to Sila's open house...hmmm...never went to malay's new year visit...lots of xi shu...kind of still got the hang of it...i guess...hahazzz...i felt kind of out of place...do not know how Kwang Li felt...but can really say that i enjoyed it...great fun...great people...great food...go Sila's place is forever eating only...do not know why...but just realised...too bad...maybe it is because can't resist the temptation...her cooking skills.....................beyond words can describe...OIE!!! don't anyhow think!!!it was good okay!!! very good!!!yummy yum yum...Sila...thanks for the invitation...really turely enjoyed myself there...good food and great hospitality too...muahaha...and i got green packets...thanks girl...love you... *muckzzz*
me myself & i 23:44
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
...HaPpY bIrThDaY tO yOu...hoilday mood...but it was destroyed...anyway...still as usual...put on a smile and went to meet my classmates...guess where did we go to celebrate Tian Shun's birthday???here's a song for a hint...~let's go to the zoo zoo zoo...how about you you you...we're going zoo zoo zoo...how about you you you!!!~hahazzz...kk...i know...lame...anyway...yupz...we went to the zoo...a bunch of monkeys visiting the zoo...don't need me further say in details you also can imagine the craziness we can become lahz...hai...but then it really wasn't my day...maybe because i started it wrongly...by having some lecture then somebody who i don't even know...anyway...ya...it RAINED!!! hai...tian bu zhuo mei...still we carried on...hmmm...shoe was totally wet...so we walked to KFC to makan...there...i really see ugly side of people...how unreasonable and stupid they can be...saddening...yupz...gt scolded twice...so expected work at night to not go smoothly lahz...great...was made to stand at lobby...hai...so not my day...never mind...but i still enjoyed myself at the zoo...too bad i can't say in details...if not you'll understand the fun and dumb things that happened...tomorrow will be a better day...i'm going to make it happen...
me myself & i 23:59
why should i care??? it's over...matter between two people...i do not know how or why...but was shared with a third part...what rights does the third party have to interfer??? how i wish i can scold fish right into his face...because he has hurt me again...maybe not on purpose...but still he did......invisible like i use to be...my emotions and thoughts would never be a consideration...let it be...xin hui yi leng...
me myself & i 00:02
Sunday, October 22, 2006
it has been a week...
i do not know why...
but i still feel the sense of guilt towards him......
maybe it is because his too nice...too caring...too sweet......
never did i expect that he would go the extra mile for me...
frankly speaking...it's too good to be true...
i do not know if i am dreaming...
or is it just a fantasy...
but if it is really a dream...
please...please...please...
please do not wake me up...
ta dui wo de fu chu...
wo wu fa xing rong...
wo zhi xiang dui ta hao...
wei ta fu chu...
thanks darling...
you're an angel...
thank you very much...
me myself & i 22:56
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
since young...i've witness...since young...i've tolerated...since young...i've suffered...since young...i've oversee...since young...i've learnt to forgive...to forget...since young...i've seen everything...heard everything...think and thought through seriously......nobody is perfect in the world...nobody...because we are not God...that is why we make mistakes...learn from mistakes...learn to forgive...and learn to forget...grew up in a broken family...know the reason...as i had seen it with my own eyes...i never want to regard him as my father...i never wanted to...not ever......but then...no matter how i deny he is still my father...his unfaithfulness we've tolerated...oversee...forgive time and again......his violent unreasonable we've suffered......because of him...we've suffered so much...we're human...his family...daughter son wife are nothing else to him other then his punching bag...when his fed up vent his anger on us...not once had he not done that...if he don't love his wife...why can't he file for a divorce??? happy happy throw furnitures at his wife and children...we're human...not his punching bag...what are we to him??? what does he want to prove from being violent??? his in the wrong...yet so unreasonable...showing not a single bit of remorsefulness...still so arrogant...no longer bring myself to oversee nor to forgive him...the hurt and sufferings we had beared is nothing anyone can understand......never in my life will i ever bring myself to forgive him again...NEVER!!! his not fit to be a father...not fit to be a husband...not fit to even be a human...I HATE HIM...FOREVER!!!filled with anger...with hurt...with sorrow...i do not want to fill hatred...but i can no longer tolerate his actions...no words can describe my feelings anymore......i hate him......not ever will i shed another tear over him...his not fit...not at all...
me myself & i 21:16
Sunday, October 15, 2006
so much had happened...
i also do not know...
why must it all happen???
love me not...
show me no affection...
i'm nobody's cup of tea...
i just really want to be in the corner...
kept in the corner like in the past...
where nobody noticed or realise me...
don't treat me so nice...
i do not want to melt...
coz i do not know how to let go of the past...
i really do not want to create a false illusion...
so problems...people...leave me alone...
leave me in that very corner i once was...
me myself & i 02:16
