...thoughts thoughts thoughts... ...friends... friends...i have plenty......but true ones...are lesser dan expected...friends that can tell what i'm feeling deep within when i'm putting on a brave front...is even lesser......suddenly...fill so disappointed with myself...it's always the same routine...i'm visible when my friends are feeling down...and invisible when their happy......you say that i'm always there for my friends...but i'm not...in fact i feel empty most of the time...it's just that you don't know me enough......after so long...only a friend can tell my actual feelings...touched...very touched...because i myself can't tell...i've already lost myself some years back......why can't everything be plain and simple??? why can't i grow up in a better environment??? must everything be that complicated??? i really wonder...... ...relation... 4years 40days...i still gave up the relation in the end...i'm sad......but then i'm tired already...so long of clinging on...but still it can't be helped...no longer do i wanna feel the way that i do like the past...because it's terrible...you will never understand how i felt at my most difficult times and you weren't there...yet you still added on burdens to my emotions...commitment...trust...love...i give up...no matter how a shattered heart is glued back together...the scars would always remain...so will the memories of hurt......i'm sorry...... ...family... more problems...more arguements...more fights...more wounds...more blood...more tears......why must everyone be so calculative??? why must they find fault with everything...everybody??? why can't they just treat it simple??? is it that great to argue and fight over such matters??? and getting physical and emotional hurts...injuries??? is it worth bleeding??? is it worth screaming??? is it worth the tears??? what is the point??? to hurt each others feelings??? have they too lost their directions??? things are just getting more complicated everyday...... ...me... been rather busy lately...some of you ask me to take care of my sick body...but frankly it's not just to earn money for school...it's true that i need money...but it can be earn anytime... time spent working is the point...it'll pass faster...and leave me no time for all these thoughts......whenever i realise that nothing could be help...the sense of guilt is just filling in more and much much more each time...lost......
*emotions over runs me*
me myself & i 05:52
EMOTIONAL
Mei Xian
nursing student
...full-time...
lamer
stoner
dreamer
...part-time...
having a break
LOVE LIFE
sleep eat dream
especially sushi
mango pudding cake
ice-cream chocolate
WISH LIST
More Clothes
White "Classy" Tote
Sports Bag
Lots of Pumps & Heels
A Wallet
Perm My Hair
New Belts
Digital Camera
DS Lite
Undergo Lasik
Attend a Shoe Design Course
Lots & Lots of $$$$
**need a job right now**
Try New Stuff to Build Confidence
MESSAGE
THINK POSITIVE...
it's the little little things in my life that allow me to hang on...
no matter how life is...it's just the perception point that varies the outcome view...
my life isn't empty but half-filled...and i'm contented...
