Tuesday, August 29, 2006

juz nw ar...gt appointment wid hairdresser...
cut moi fringe n cut trim abit...
slanted n short fringe...
toot toot wan lahz...
but dan...hai...NT REGRET LAHZ!!!
iz i can't stop laughin at moiself le...
hahahahahahahahahahahahahazzz~~

...how i look b4 hair cut wid sammy...


...wanted moi old hair cut...


...but it turned out lyk tis...


hahazzz...cutez ritez???
frankly...does it suit mi???
dunno lehz...
it make mi rmb pri sch daes sia...
nvm...at least it made u ppl laughed...
hehehahahohohuhukekekaka~~~
nvm...wait few more wks...
dan grow abit...dan will look beta...
LESS TOOT!!!
i'm determined 2 LUV it...
juz need 1 person 2 convince mi enuff liao...
so can sumbody do???
ahhhh......whakaka kaka~~

...kinda ghostly??? lightin prob...cool...


me myself & i 01:24

Monday, August 28, 2006

...every1 has been tellin mi 2 look at e sky tis few daes..."mars y b beside e moon"...wow~~~...indeed lahz...hahazzz...kk...nt being mean...but dunno lehz...reallie nv c till...nt even e moon...think nt fated ba...coz saw e moon at a earlier time together wid a few stars...but 12:30...no moon n stars at all...no luck...onli c clouds...n a dark sky...did any1 c it??? hai...coz of tis i even troubled adrian...ask him c...n hu would hab expected him 2 actually go downstairs 2 hab a beta view...OMG...pai se sia... =p ...sorrie sorrie...hee...but nvm lahz...hoh??? coz he use e lift de...hahazzz...hai...everything iz a small case 2 him...dan wats a big wan da??? alwayz carryin e ren ren wei wo...wo wei ren ren de dai du...hai...if onli every1s e same...dan mayb tis world would hab been a much much much beta place......hmmm...but wat he said was quite true lahz..."if u no c wun it b quite wasted???"...THANX ALOT adrian!!! reallie appreciated......hai...but...still dun hab ar...so kinda wasted ur effort...2 actually press e lift buttons...hehe... =p ......mmm...but if hab...think it'll b even prettier ba...n oso a fascinating sight...coz e sky gt stars n moon 2 light it up liao...plus a mars...wow!!! i juz hope reallie can c till it...hao qi dai wor!!!

me myself & i 01:19

Friday, August 25, 2006

me myself & i 18:45

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

no slp no slp no slp...
studie studie studie...
around e clock...
lost track of time...
still...i wonder......
wat's goin on wid mi...
anything went in...
did i reallie studied???
do i noe moi work???
reallie puzzled n confused...
coz i've tried so hard 4 e 1st time...
yet tis iz moi out comin result...
no matter how hard i tried...hai~
e paper...verie chim...but...okay...
i oso dunno lahz...reallie dunno...
prepared 2 take sub paper liao...
but still i'm nt givin up juz yet...
juz wanna gib moi verie best...
n once n 4 all...
get everythingy over n done wid...
nw...i'm sick...verie verie sick...
argh...again!!! hai~~~
need slp need slp...
I MISS MOI BED...
sobsob...can't can't...
cannot slp at all...
nw onli left 3 papers...
gonna finish e studie battle...
no matter how hard it iz...
muahahahahazzz...


PS: eVeRy1 oUt ThErE...gD lUcK n AlL e BeSt!!!
JuZ dO uR vErIe BeSt...N lEaVe E rEsT 2 FaTe...
*~ThErE cAn B mIrAcLeS...wHeN u BeLiEvE...~*

me myself & i 00:17

Thursday, August 17, 2006

hai...frankly...i can't hold on 2 tis tot any longer liao le!!! i'm a frank person...a super duper frank person...u should noe...n i can no longer nt voice out...

hai...look...u're nice...u're friendly...u're totful...i noe all ppl hab emotions...coz i understand it totally...but hey...when we're down u sae u would do everythingy 2 c e smilez on our faces...but r u bein selfish here??!

u're unhappie...every single 1 of us r makin e effort 2 cheer u up...console u...encourage u...but u??! it's lyk givin us a tight slap ritez into our faces once we show our concern...iz tis e kinda reward n treatment u're givin ritez???

u sae u're tired...u sae u're down...u sae u no longer c e meanin in life...aren't we all there 4 u??? though we're nt there at e same time...but no matter how slow we r...dun we still crawl all e way there??! u sae u alwayz plses us...true...wo bu fou ren...in fact...i raise both hands n legs in agreement...but...dun we???

sayin e most recent...even u dun feel comfortable see them so close n intimate...they too qian jiu u...do u hab any idea how he feels??? coz of u...she ignores him when wid u...n he doesn't even noe wat's goin on...he felt totally miserable......y??? y all tis happen??? coz she wanna pls u......tt sum1 hu hab feelin 4 u...oso dun mind hurtin himself 2 pls u...spendin his time 2 cheer u up...tok 2 u......i'm tired n so iz benben...i...i spend e least time wid u...can understand how u feel all e time...though i nv go through wat u did...but i went through worst......but nw...truely...i've given up...n i'm gonna wash moi hands of carin 4 u...carin 4 u s much s b4...u're still a fren...a verie gd fren of mine...but i reallie c no pt...i've said so much in e past...n juz a few hrs ago...n i'm nt gonna sae tis much or more in e future anymore...............

u noe y??? it's nt tt i wanna gib up on u...iz u urself gib up on ur ownself 1st...if u gib up on ur own...no wan can eva help u...but urself...i've said tis more dan a million times...n u've heard it a million times...but no matter how much i've comfort...there's no use...if u dun listen...dun help urself...NOBODY CAN!!! NOBODY!!!

i'm freakin fed up wid e kinda attitude u're showin...u're down...every1 iz concern...yet u juz put on a fake smile 2 hong all of us...r we all fools??? fools 2 b laughed at??? i dunno...i reallie dunno...

but 4 e last time...i'm sayin tis......so if u read tis...n hab read so far...u're hearin tis...no...seein tis e LAST time...i repeat......e LAST TIME............if u dun lyk it...dan jolly well close tis window...coz i'm sick n tired repeatin it moiself.........

gal...life iz nv smooth sailin...life hab it's ups n it's down...they're nt there 4 fun...but 2 mould u 2 bcum a stronger n beta person......we r all typical human beings...we alwayz view things frm e negative pt......but how many of us actually turn e prob around n look frm another pt of veiw...where it too hab it's own plus points??? juz lyk e sky...beautiful in e dae...wid e sun shinin brightly...wid e birds flyin freely so so high...but cums e nitez...e sky iz still pretty...though it's dark...but e moon n stars still light up e entire sky 4 us............everytime a door closes...u'll nv b lost 4eva...coz another door will open 4 u...it juz takes time 4 u 2 find e widely open door which iz waitin 4 u ALWAYZ...juz lyk us alwayz free 2 lend a listenin ear n shoulder 4 u 2 cry on.........u alwayz wanna make ppl's dae...but when will u let others make urs??? i been through tt...n u'll juz push ur frenz away frm u slowly...verie slowly......no1 was there 2 tell mi...but i no 1 u 2 walk moi path!!! SO WAKE UP!!! if she's nt makin u're dae...if she's alwayz sulkin...if she'd still rmb of e past...DO UR STUFF N MAKE UR MUM'S DAE!!! if u've tried n u've failed 2 make her dae......it juz means tt u're nt tryin hard enuff...impressions can't b changed over nitez...impressions can't b plsed n change...impressions means takin actions 2 prove ur own worth...provin tt u've reallie change...n nt simply by using words...coz words r worthless...if nt y won't u listen...ritez??? n...STOP bottlin everything up n treat every1 wid e REAL emotions...if nt it'll onli bring u 2 no gd end......again...take it frm sum1 hu noes...DUN eva look down on urself...coz u'll nv noe wat u can actually achieve...juz trust urself u can...n believe tt u can...widout any doubt......u failed...u fell...nvm...wipe off those tears...stand up again...n try try try again...n u'll definitly will mit tt goal in ur life...create ur future...dun let ur pass n present control u......~~there can b miracles when U BELIEVE~~

hai....................................................................there...i've said moi piece.........lucky i blow at hm...n onli can sae here...n nt in front of u...if nt......u'll get a shock out of ur life......s u'll c a verie...hmmm....i should sae wierd change n swing of MIXED emotions ba...n reallie mixed ones.........frm angrie...2 sad...2 confused...2 happie...2 tierd......hai...etc...nth u can think of......n finally break down n cry...............here......nt bad lahz......u dunno...onli i noe...........whether u lyk it or nt...i'd alreadie voiced out liao le...sorrie...sorrie if i was hash wid moi words...or rather...too hash...but they were all frm moi bottom of moi heart......lyk i said up there...words r wothless......u should noe wats real...n wats nt.........but no matter wat...our frenship iz real...n ur n alwayz will b a gd sister...muckzzz...luv u alwayz...

PS: exam tml le...put aside all tots n feelins...get hold of urself n reallie reallie concentrate on tis period...tis verie verie impt period...2 score great marks...2 make urself proud...n imptly...make ur mum happie...reallie happie......

*~*~*~xianz signin off after a battle wid her own mixed mixed n so so mixed emotions...hai...wat was i thinkin...i reallie dunno~*~*~*

me myself & i 00:32

Monday, August 14, 2006

project pass!!! scored a...happie...but couldn't hab done it widout moi frenz...thanx so much ppl!!! hai~~...but hoh...exam on thursdae liao...n lyk i'm goin no where...o man...how??? hai~~...so depressin lahz...studie studie studie...but ma jam nv studie till at all...y ar??? m i nt focused enuff??? crackin moi head...tryin so hard...but still moi mind iz still a blank...a white sheet of paper...Y??! o man...sum1 pls tell mi wat's goin on...y iz it lyk tt lehz...*stupid mi*

me myself & i 22:08

Friday, August 11, 2006

guess wat ppl??? it has ended!!! yeah!!! moi project FINALLY over liao...woohoo!!! man m i happie or wat...hahazzz...kk...lost slp...loss appetite......nw i'm so so soooooo gonna catch them all back...i'm savin e details 4 tml...whakaka...nw...i hab a VERIE IMPT DATE...a verie super duper impt date ppl...n i'm so gonna enjoy moi date...u noe y??? coz it's bed till tml noon 4 mi!!! yipee~~...slpin in process...pls do nt disturb...*psychology imbalanced...muahaha*

me myself & i 22:58

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

2 moi eva dearest sammy...
life iz nt ez...life iz nv fair...though it's though at times...though dyin alwayz seems 2 b e fastest n best way s a solution 2 end everthing...but in actual fact...it's nt...it's true tt u ended ur own probs...but r u sure u ended them 4 gd??? ur probs will remain 2 b solved by ur family...by ur frenz...nt onli tt...u'll too brin sorrow 2 them...u may nt feel tt way...but take it frm sum1 hu noes......
things happen 4 a reason...they dun juz happened 4 fun...God made all those happen iz nt 2 make a fool of us...but 2 mould s...4 us 2 grow...4 a reason...4 a purpose...He will nv eva make a fool of us out of our lives...coz we're all here 4 a purpose...
all things can b viewed frm diff angels......if i gib u half a glass of water wat would u c it s??? half empty galss??? or half full glass???
c...it's juz a matter of gd or bad...willingness 2 think e gd way or nt...we ppl live in a world which iz so realistic...tt's y we often treat everythin in our life so pessimistically...i noe...it's easier said dan done...but y dun u look at things tis way...if a patient iz diagnosed wid cancer...n has onli a remainin life of 2mths...do u think he'll live it 2 e fullest...or 2 sulk through e remainin daes he hab???
life iz short...life iz unpredictable...y upset urself so much by being so bothered by e past??? things tt had alreadie happen had happened...there iz nth tt u can do 2 change it...coz u can nv turn back time......so y dun u stop lookin back...n look 4ward...at e bright future ahead of u...tt has yet happen...tt has so much 4 u 2 do...4 u 2 make it all happen...
alwayz bare tis in mind...juz bcoz u're sad...life will nv change n make it easier 4 u...so HEY...BRIGHTEN UP...WIPE OF THOSE TEARS N SAD MEMORIES...PUT ON A SMILE...n move on...coz life iz gd!!! life iz great!!! e past can nv b changed...so create e future...coz it has yet 2 happen...u can make it possible...s long s u believe...there's nt impossible!!!

PS: i'm alwayz there if u need...juz call anytime...i'll b there......n i believe u can...so u definitely can! if u dun hab enuff faith in urself dan trust mi...coz i'll nv leave a fren durin e lowest time of their life...

luvin u alwayz...
ur bestest aiai

me myself & i 02:16

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

so so verie much iz in mi...
i noe i'll burst...
sumhow 1dae...
but i juz dunno when......
i longed 4 sum1 2 care...
yet i noe there'll b none...
even if there is......
iz tt person 4 reallie???
been cheated n hurt...
no eva wanna feel e same...
i dun exist in tis universe...
tis universe of u ppl...
it's juz simply mi moiself n i...
in moi world...
moi verie simple own world...
where no1 can reach...
wanna reach...
nor b bothered 2 reach mi...
*simply disconnected 2 e
verie world of moi own*

me myself & i 02:21

Monday, August 07, 2006

me myself & i 00:29

Sunday, August 06, 2006

at tis verie pt...ritez at tis moment...i feel so lost...feel so disappointed...after readin ur blog...i dunno wat m i suppose 2 feel anymore...our gap r driftin further n further away...n i no longer noe hu r u s clear s last time......i was pissed of nt bcoz i had nth beta 2 do...it was bcoz tt u actually put ur heart in2 wantin spend time 2 studie...yet u wasn't studyin...we wasted time here n there...so by e them u sat down 2 reallie studie u left 3hrs...yet u did nt put ur whole heart in2 studyin durin e 3hrs...i'm nt sayin tt u can't hab fun...but dan i'm there juz 2 accompany oso spent time searchin 4 project stuffs......u noe i'm pissed but do u noe y??? u juz declare tt i'm pissed n dan end of storie...i wasn't e least bit angrie...but u declared tt i m......yet u still put on a smile n joke around wid mi...m i a clown being fooled by u??? i moiself hab alot of unsettled stuff...which i nv tell u...coz i no wanna make u worrie...make u upset wid mi...but u r causin mi 2 b more upset...coz i reallie m confused...i no longer noe hu r...coz nw...u put on an act in front of mi......came by 1 phrase "life iz abt mind n matter...i dun mind n u dun matter"...mayb i should stop mindin...anyway u dun matter......n even if u do...i'll qns iz tt e real u...i hate moiself...it's moi fault...moi fault...*hu should b e 1 upset??? i utterly confused...so depressed...i dunno...sobsob*

me myself & i 01:19

Saturday, August 05, 2006

e grass iz alwayz greener on e other side of e field...but sumtimes all of us need 2 learn 2 prioritize...especially u...though i noe tt u'll nv b onli concentratin on ur greens...still i felt kinda pissed...y waste time if u're nt interested over ur greens but s well s others??? i mean...since u hab e heart 2 do it...might s well do it whole-heartly...coz i noe if u wan 2...u can...n u can do it verie well...so pls...believe tt u can...n u can...go 4 it man!!! firdaus oso ar...u oso another 1...ccc...tt little boi oso e can...so u oso can 1 ar...i believe u can...hahazzz...i'll b waitin ar...18mths frm nw...frm 2dae...hmmm...so tt'll b lyk 26nov'07...i wanna c ur results yeah...whakaka...... =D

me myself & i 22:45

Friday, August 04, 2006

hai...4 e 1st time...i scolded moi sis...dunno m i suppose 2 feel relief...glad or upset n wid full of guilt......since young i'm so envious of her...she has everythingy...luv...care...concern...n everythingy she name it she gets it......yayaya...u may think tt i m jealous...but reallie i'm nt a single bit at all jealous...in fact...i kinda dislyk her...erm...in e sense tt...she has everything which o dun at all...yet...she wasn't e least greatful!!! bcoz moi dad dotes on her so so verie much...she turned out 2 b such a spoilt brat...spendthrift n rude...yayaya...i noe i noe...wat ritez do i hab 2 sae her...n where do i stand 2 judge her......but branded stuff everywhere...even when she doesn't hab e $$$...n calls moi parents idiot!!! tt reallie angered mi...4 those hu noe mi long enuff...u would noe tt i dun lyk hm...coz it's shattered...but still...it's moi hm...though it didn't gib mi luv nor care...it's still moi hm...sobsob...but she??! she had everything in e world...yet couldn't b e least greatful nor thankful......n i could no longer stand it 2dae!!! there again she threw her temper...expecting things 2 go e way it would lyk alwayz...but dan...i reallie find she went overbroad...she wanna stop her course after a yr half...n wanna take private instead......pls 4goodness sake...hab e $$$ yet u no wanna studie finish b4 gettin ur bachelor degree...she wanna skip...dan skippin will cost alot alot alot more $$$...n e reason iz juz coz she no lyk e sch...so since can skip ight s well skip...i mean wat kinda stupid attitude iz tis??! hey...we're no rich ppl!!! n i'm strugglin so damn hard 2 pay 4 moi sch fee...n she??! nvm...bcoz it cost so much...moi parents can't afford it...so moi mom went around askin...n realise if she completes her diploma nt onli will she save e $$$ spent...she'll oso save e time...n guess wat??? she called n screamed at moi mom "wo hen si ni men le"...damn was i angrie!!! she dun even noe wat moi mom hab gone through 4 her...n pushin all e fault 2 moi mom when it's moi dad's!!! it was moi dad hu's being unreasonable...took it out on mi n moi mom...n nt moi sis when it's her prob!!! yet she??? she doesn't noe at all...n asked "did e 2 idiots tok abt mi"...i could no longer control e anger within...how could she call our parents idiot??!ceverything tt i longed 2 sae...all at once...blowed out...i yelled at her...said tt she was a spoilt brat...rude...bcoz of all tt she had hab she doesn't noe how 2 treasure...she doesn't noe wat we gone through bcoz of her...all she cares abt it herself n her feelins n how gd she looks in front of her frenz...tt she's nth but a selfish bitch...when eva she's nt pleased all she does was fine i'll leave hm since i can't hab it moi way...do u even hab a consious...did u eva bothered abt wat we feel wat we think??! since u think so highly of urself them fine!!! so b it!!! i dun care anymore!!! hai...i've said moi peace...i'm suppose 2 feel relief...feed gd...but reallie...i dun...i still feel so angrie...sobsob...she hab moi dad 2 support her studies...yet...she doesn't treasure it......she apologized 2 moi mom...i'm nt touched...but i'm relief...4 e 1st time...she apologized 2 moi mom...at least nw i noe she has a conscious......but nw...i reallie feel so bad...so verie bad...coz no matter wat...i should nt hab yelled at her...coz she older dan mi...*guilt over runs mi*

me myself & i 22:34

o man...tis iz e last project till b4 exams!!! i ought 2 b happie...but...AHHHHHH...it's so damn super difficult!!! wat 2 do wat 2 do??? hai...it's reallie so chim lahz...can sum1 pls help mi??? if u all happen 2 cum by...or hab sum form of tests or quizzes related 2 findin out one's level of intelligence...self-esteem...n stress/depression...PLS SEND IT 2 MI!!! a million thanx...coz u will nt nt how impt it iz 2 mi...muckzzz...

me myself & i 15:19

2dae no dance...sch ended early...slackin away since juz nw dunno wat hab i been doin 4 e past few hrs...darn...how can u do tis 2 mi sila!!! i was so bored...yes...she entertained mi...u noe wid wat??? wid sum "funnie" storie...ya ritez "funnie"...4 goodness sake...it was SCARY!!! u scared moi wit out sia......hahazzz...i was evil too...since she frightened mi...i decided 2 frighten moi frenz...hai...guess i too timid liao...most of moi frenz were lyk chey~~~...hai...nt fun at at...hmmm...if i missed u...can jolly well ask it frm mi...dun mind sendin...coz ur reaction may juz amuse mi again...HAHAHAZZZ...*evil laughter*

me myself & i 00:10

Thursday, August 03, 2006

went c doc wid sam 2dae...both of us sick mahz...wha...alot alot medicine sia...hmmmm...doc sae i gt head distension...but head oso will hab distension wan ar??? nv hear b4 sia......but doc iz caused by insufficient slp n stress...but i slp enuff le ar...n gt no stress ar...hai...qns mark everywhere...but onli noe feelin verie horrible terrible vegetable...y muz fall sick...ahhhh...i hate e sick bug...stupid idiot sick bug...i hate u...i hate u...hate u...hate u...argh...exams around e corner liao...gotta double up...n start studyin liao le...hai...stressed liao le...ahhhhhh......o...ppl...work iz work...studie iz studie...play iz play...no matter wat...BODY STILL CUMS 1ST!!!!!! so muz take care n dun fall sick lyk mi wor...shen bing shi tong ku de...jian kang shi xing fu de...wo yao jian kang!!! muahahahaha......

me myself & i 19:30

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

guess wat...i'm sick again...e bug had been clingin onto mi so tightly...feelin so horrible terrible n vegetable again...argh...hate gettin sick...hate it hate it hate it...n projects...n upcumin exams...ahhhh...life soooooo hectic...i wanna sail smoothly over everythingy...at least i hope i can...*there can be miracles...when u believe*

me myself & i 21:20

thanx so muz ar yee shan...u REALLIE make moi dae 2dae ar... -_-''' ...tis kinda senior oso hab...i whole dae slpin lai...wake up poom poom liao go sch 4 dance sia...dan recieve such GD treatment n praises lai...1st sae i pale...dan sae till lyk i zhen zi...next made every1 sing mi bdae song when it's way over...SUM MORE IN TT KINDA POSTION... *nununu* ...wo bai ni lahz...coz i reallie speechless liao...dotz dotz dotz...pls!!! dun do it again!!! ahhhh...moi skin thin nt lyk urs...mi no lyk attention...thank u verie much...hee... =p ......

wat iz luv??? omg...i'm loosin moiself again...hai...i'm so blinded by u...reallie...iz tt thingy luv??? if it iz...dan...again i questioned...does it still exist between us??? i dun noe...we will nv b lyk last time...n i no longer sense e slightest of ur luv......a new beginin...a new start...but guess it can no longer happen...coz all i've been gettin were ur qns...when i should b e 1 hu should b askin those qns...i reallie dunno...n i'm sick of guess wat's in ur mind...start 2 care abt how i feel...bcoz nw...i reallie noe wat i need...or rather wat i wan......i no longer wanna feel cheated by u n ur so-called-luv...no longer do i wanna b hurt by u n ur lies...i wanna let everythingy go...once n for all...n it's e last thing i would do......*for once i'm so determined...yet still so uncertain*

me myself & i 01:05

EMOTIONAL

Mei Xian
nursing student
...full-time...
lamer
stoner
dreamer
...part-time...
having a break

LOVE LIFE

sleep eat dream
especially sushi
mango pudding cake
ice-cream chocolate

WISH LIST

More Clothes
White "Classy" Tote
Sports Bag
Lots of Pumps & Heels
A Wallet
Perm My Hair
New Belts
Digital Camera
DS Lite
Undergo Lasik
Attend a Shoe Design Course
Lots & Lots of $$$$
**need a job right now**
Try New Stuff to Build Confidence

MESSAGE

THINK POSITIVE...

it's the little little things in my life that allow me to hang on... no matter how life is...it's just the perception point that varies the outcome view... my life isn't empty but half-filled...and i'm contented...

DARLINKS

HISTORY

July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
October 2008
November 2008
April 2009

VOICE OUT