Sunday, July 16, 2006

been out 2dae wid sam...treasa...angela...jeremy...jing wei...rather glad...coz dunno when was e last time i went out n let down moi hair liao...zhu zhu can alwayz cheer mi up wheneva i'm down...but honestly e joy can onli last 4 a moment no matter how much i try 2 make it last longer...e smile on moi face...juz can't stay.........b happie...hu dun wanna 2??? if there's a choice...i oso wanna choose 2 b happie throughout moi life...but i nt born in2 1 where there's happiness luv or peace...so i can onli find all those frm frenz...but frankly...bein happie...iz ez said dan done...been puttin on a brave front since e dae e relationship ended...can any1 tell mi how 2 let go a nearly 4yrs relationship??? sob...there r so many differences...so many probs...but we'd went through them all...till tis far......we've part...n i've been strugglin verie hard 2 look 4 a float...4 joy...4 e way 2 move on...n i did...wid so many other probs stressin mi at e same time......i was so stressed out...so depressed...but i reallie hab great frenz...hu reallie stood by mi at moi lowest pt of life...i'm verie touched...but where were u??? finally i've set moi heart 2 b happie...2 stop cryin over u...n stop strugglin......u appeared...bursted e float tt i found after so so long of strugglin...bursted moi bubble of joy...caused mi 2 cry again...n once again hurt mi...since u've stepped out of moi life...y can't u juz stay out??! cumin back n state tt...i'm totally hurt...i'm nv shallow...but e way u sae it makes it tt way...wat's more iz tt u sae i'm nt e gal u wan...yet u still sae tt u luv mi??? y??! y every1 iz toyin wid moi feelins??! treatin mi s a spare??! m i bein naive n foolish??! 2 EVERY1 in moi life...i given them all moi trust...all of it...but since sch started...i realised tt i'm makin moiself 2 turn out lyk a big fat fool!!! even moi frenz cheat moi feelins...wat more can i sae abt u??! i believe every1 time n again...but it seems 2 mi tt e more i believed n trusted...e more hurt i'll b......u should b e 1 hu understand mi e most...but it goes 2 show tt u r nt...i've been hurt n cheated enuff...i wanna protect moiself frm all e hurt tt i can get frm every1...but does tt mean tt i muz keep n take away e trust tt i've given 2 every1??? i'm verie lost...i'm reallie depressed...how i wish i can reallie reallie isolate moiself 4 gd...dan i can reallie save all moi tears...tears which rolled 4 ppl hu r nt worth...but...it's nt mi...so unlyk moi character...i muz b a total idoit 2 b so dumb 2 trust every1 wholeheartdly no matter how many times they've betrayed moi turst n hurt mi......*slap moiself*...when can i wake up??? when can i walk out of tis mess...i reallie dunno...wo zhen de yao wo zhi ji jian qiang...coz no matter how strong i may look...deep down...i reallie reallie reallie need a verie strong support 2 hang on...but i'll nv find a support...sob...so teach mi 2 b strong...pls...i juz wanna b strong...strong enuff 2 finish tis path......


me myself & i 00:34

EMOTIONAL

Mei Xian
nursing student
...full-time...
lamer
stoner
dreamer
...part-time...
having a break

LOVE LIFE

sleep eat dream
especially sushi
mango pudding cake
ice-cream chocolate

WISH LIST

More Clothes
White "Classy" Tote
Sports Bag
Lots of Pumps & Heels
A Wallet
Perm My Hair
New Belts
Digital Camera
DS Lite
Undergo Lasik
Attend a Shoe Design Course
Lots & Lots of $$$$
**need a job right now**
Try New Stuff to Build Confidence

MESSAGE

THINK POSITIVE...

it's the little little things in my life that allow me to hang on... no matter how life is...it's just the perception point that varies the outcome view... my life isn't empty but half-filled...and i'm contented...

DARLINKS

HISTORY

July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
October 2008
November 2008
April 2009

VOICE OUT